they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
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