I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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