...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
