Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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