i think my tv is drunk
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I want a musical about memes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
