wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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