So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
