capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
