why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize