just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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