Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
