i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
