It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
