I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
