please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
