I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
