Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
