Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
