Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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