im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
