Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
