So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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