At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
