I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize