i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
