It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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