Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just threw up on my dentist
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
