ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
