I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
