She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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