i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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