Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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