I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Panties = found
Randomize
