Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
false alarm, still single
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