I want to have your abortion
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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