I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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