i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
