I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
