Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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