So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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