The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
