Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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