he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
