I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
