You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
