my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
