i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
