I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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