dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You are a genius and a whore.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
