I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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