did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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