Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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