Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
