nut hugger
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
