I think I won the penis lottery.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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