so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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