That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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