Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
